I take the melatonin. I take the Trazodone. I sleep until 11am. And I'm excited and start to think of all the cool things I had been working on and all the new projects I want to do and places to go and people to reconnect with...
And then I have a night like last night where I only sleep three hours then lay awake... thinking. And thinking...
I am incredibly exhausted today.
Yesterday I wore my mom out over FaceTime. Actually, I wore out both our phones too. There was just so much that I was worrying about and it all seems so impossible to solve. I know it's impossible to solve because no one wants to talk about any of it. Plus I'm tired and cranky.
Mom had no solutions. But then, right before she went to bed, she texted:
One thing we all seem to have forgotten.....The Universe!..... how about thinking of a request, like you’ve done in the past. This thought just came to me as I was asking for help from my end of things, as I was trying to get to sleep. Then I had to turn on the light and tell you. Now, goodnight!😴😘💤🌙 🙏😻💤💤💤
She's right. So I spent a lot of time overthinking that too. And then, I got out of bed and got to work.
Here's a page from the Quo Vadis calendar comic (my current Kickstarter project)
No, I didn't get all those things. But I have since learned that I was TOO specific on some of them which actually set me up to be disappointed.
According to Mike Dooley, who is an expert on the Universe and Manifesting, The Universe is always listening and gives you what you want. Unfortunately, WE don't know what we want and don't even realize that we are asking for it.
He suggests that we think of it more like a cosmic GPS system:
First, you have to get IN the car (decide you want something).
Second, you set the GPS with the destination. (What do you want? You don't need to know the directions to get there, just the final destination).
Third, put the car in gear and start moving! Just start. The Universe will adjust the GPS directions no matter what wrong turns you take, you just need to keep moving.
I also need to re-read to Danielle LaPorte's amazing book, The Firestarter Sessions. I'd forgotten how blown away I was when I first read that intentions, goals, etc. will lead to disappointment if they are based on wanting someTHING or to achieve some success. We need to think about why we want that and how it would make us FEEL. For example, I want a buttload of money so I can pay my bills and go to retreats. Definitely. But what I really want is the FEELING of abundance, and financial freedom, and security.
So if you combine the two theories, you'd get something like...
This is the Destination I'm entering into the Universe's GPS system -
"I want to feel financially secure and generous"
Then I start driving by rereading Ramit Sethi's book I Will Teach You to Be Rich.
I clean up my accounts, set up auto payments and auto savings.
I run into an old acquaintance who invites me to sketch-note a conference in exchange for admission and lunch. At the conference, one of the speakers notices my sketch-notes...
...and the GPS keeps readjusting to move me toward the Destination.
If I insist on the incredibly specific money intentions I wrote in the comic above - I will be disappointed. Not only because I won't/didn't achieve them, but because I am so focused on those that I am overlooking much better opportunities that the Universe is tossing in my path. That's self-limiting. Like driving your car into a wall rather than taking the turn suggested by the GPS.
What do I really want? I have to think some more about it - but at the moment - I want financial stability, a healthy mind and body, and I want to feel like I belong with other creative, inspiring, funny, loving people.
I removed all my silly intentions from the comic (seriously - how can I get a man to ruin my lipstick - if I don't even wear lipstick!?) and made a blank mini-print:
I just added it to the Kickstarter campaign too. If I can get the pledges up over $1000, then everyone who chooses a Reward, no matter the amount of the pledge, will get this mini-print! Then you can write out your own intentions and stick it where you can see it and remember what you really want.
OK - so please go back the Kickstarter and remember to "Follow" so you can get comic updates.