This was Marek's comment on my last post - about not being able to paint or draw comics lately.

That's a good point... I had started painting again last year - just for myself - another self-imposed challenge. It just felt good.

But then I started showing the paintings to people, and got comments on how they were all unrelated styles, or, worse - "You should sell them".  I think the last painting I did was of Theo - it made me so happy! "You should do pet portraits, you could charge a lot!" I'd done that portrait for myself - and also as a birthday present for a friend. Unfortunately, I lost the friendship, so now the portrait makes me sad.

And then I put the paintings in the Crimson Sparrows Art Show - made lots of prints and matted them... and nothing sold. And now, I can't paint. Hmmm, wonder why?

When I saw Marek's comment, it made a LOT of sense. So I did a doodle (see above). I have a whole sketchbook filled with these drawings, mostly unseen by anyone except my daughter. Each starts with just a shape, but no other plan - just whatever feels right. Very soothing. No pressure. I'd love to try doing some larger ones, maybe on canvas - but the voices say they don't "go" with the other styles of my work. But the point is - it felt good and it got me drawing again.

I went up in the studio and sketched out a painting idea...

Just outside my front door, there are snowdrops coming up through the dead leaves and the snow, right next to the solar panel pipes with "Warning: Photovoltaic Power Source"... which really cracks me up. If I have to explain it to you, then you are proof that this painting is just for me. No one will say "You could sell that!" 😂

And then the really hard test... put some paint down... just START!!

Dead leaves and dirt... yeah!

Tune in tomorrow to see where this goes!

And thanks for the push, Marek.

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Art Mental Health Process